Browns-Bills Should Have Been "Presented by Sominex": The Browns have failed to score an offensive touchdown in nine of their past 11 games; the Bills have failed to score an offensive touchdown in five of their past six homes games. When they met Sunday, Browns quarterback Derek Anderson somehow managed to compile a 15.1 passer rating; if every throw clangs to the ground incomplete, the passer gets a 39 rating. "It's great, it's fantastic, I couldn't be happier," Cleveland coach Eric Mangini gushed after a 6-3 win in which the Browns completed two forward passes. Buffalo's mystifying insistence on sticking to a no-huddle offense that hasn't produced a touchdown in three games became farcical as the Bills adopted a quick-count cadence in hopes of drawing Cleveland offside. They only succeeded in drawing themselves offside, the Bills being whistled for a preposterous nine false starts. Watching these two offenses was like watching the Exxon Valdez try to extricate itself from the rocks of Bligh Reef.

Assistant coaches struggle to help the Buffalo offense off the rocks.The Bills have lost in consecutive weeks to winless teams, scoring one offensive touchdown in the last three games, and are on a 3-12 run since the moment last fall when Dick "Cheerio, Chaps" Jauron received a three-year, $9 million contract extension. Thank goodness Cheerio Chaps has long-term security! He did not, however, grant himself the extension: management did. During the same period Jauron has been on the Buffalo scene, Buffalo management has invested three first-round draft choices and a second-rounder in safety Donte Whitner, cornerback Leodis McKelvin, defensive tackle John McCargo and middle linebacker Paul Posluszny. After acquiring these gentlemen and granting them contracts with huge bonuses, Buffalo saved money by letting go safety Jim Leonhard, cornerback Jabari Greer, defensive tackle Justin Bannan and middle linebacker Mario Haggan. McCargo is a bust who has never started a game; Whitner is a journeyman-level performer, McKelvin and Posluszny are perennially injured. Meanwhile, Leonhard, Greer and Haggan are playing like stars for the Jets, Saints and Broncos, while Bannan is often on the field for the Ravens. Had Buffalo simply kept Leonhard, Greer, Haggan and Bannan and used the draft choices and money on other players, it might now be a real team. Time to recognize that Buffalo general manager Russ Brandon is Matt Millen: The Sequel.