The Legend of Brett Favre: The Final Chapter

Okay first off this is the strangest thing I've ever posted on this site, I really have no clue what on earth I was thinking. But I somehow thought the Metrodome breaking open had some deep symbolic meaning, almost like something out of a legend or something. I'm hoping y'all find it entertaining and worthy of a laugh, and I promise I'm not actually insane.

His Vikings surrounded, Brett Favre hurled a bolt into the sky as if to touch Asgard itself. Like a dove did it sail and flutter, and like a rock did it fall as it was thrown back by that trickster Loki. Thus it fell once again into the hungry maws of wolves.

And Alas! for no sooner than had Favre hurled his plea to the gods, when a huge black wolf named Arthur Moats, the son of the wicked and terrible Fenrir, stretched out his jaws so wide that they went around all of Midgard, through the deepest oceans,the densest forests, and the above highest mountains, and below the lowest valleys. With a triumphant SNAP! the wolf bit Favre and mortally wounded him. And when his fellow men saw him in such a sad state their spirits dropped and they lost the will to fight.

But lo! Favre's prayer had been answered, for all this time Favre's father, Odin had seen everything that had transpired with his all seeing eye and had remained hidden from view. Though he had cursed Favre by shrinking his "godhood" and sending him to Midgard, Odin still boiled with rage at Loki's deceit.

And so he sent Thor down to Midgard to fight with the Vikings. Thor lent his power to Tavaris Jackson and many wolves were slaughtered that day, but a big fat wolf named Geoff Hangartner sacrificed himself so that Ryan Fitzpatrick and Arthur Moats among others could escape, and plot their revenge at Ragnarok.

When the Vikings had seen how many wolves lay dead they rejoiced and left with their new leader Tavaris.
Brett Favre long abandoned by his own men, writhed on the field for a few days in anguish and regret. Finally just when it looked like he might recover, he died. Odin who was shocked at this, was so incensed that he threw a frost giant into the metrodome with such force that the roof caved in and the arena was filled with the frost giant's blood. And the henceforth that place has been cursed.

A Valkyrie named Jenn Sterger escorted Favre to Valhalla where he played football the rest of his days and displayed his restored godhood to anyone who would look.

And so take a look out of your window every December 13th and look for a star. In fact any old star will do. Because chances are that's Brett Favre. And chances are he's still slingin'.

Oh yeah and never cross the Moats!