Speculation on Injuries; Bills relation to Pygmy Shrews

I know this is going to be buried in the fallout with our friendly skirmish with the Indianapolis Colts tonight, but I wanted to have my say on the Injuries the Bills have sustained so far:

It doesn't take the All-Seeing Eye of Horus to see that Buffalo's strength offensively is in the running game. Or at least it was until Fred Jackson and Marshawn Lynch read their contracts more carefully.

There written under job description Article 7 Section 9: "Henceforth as a member of this noble organization, you are required to shrivel up like a lilac bush caught in a horrible brush fire at any given time."
This strange statement's purpose presumably is to create their underdog appeal, so they can slip under the radar. And so that no one will in fact realize they have been fielding a team of pygmy shrews this entire time.

Perhaps I don't mean that literally, since after all the pygmy shrew is one of the only animals that is routinely scared to death. Like if someone yelled "Surprise Pygmy shrew it's your birthday! We all think your great!" It would have a massive heart attack and you'd be feeling rather bad about the whole thing, and it at least would be awkward to bring up at the next dinner party.

Despite being many thousand times bigger,heavier, and very likely smarter, the average Buffalo Bills player has a shared trait  with that shrew in that he too is prone to meeting his demise at the most inopportune time possible.

Or was I hallucinating when the Bills last year fielded a LB core of literally: POZ, an undrafted castoff from St. Louis, a converted Saftey, and Jon Corto?  As good as POZ is, that's like going to joust Sir Lancelot with a swimming pool noodle.
All of our best CBs were shelved. Tight Ends met their ends. Quarterbacks were pieced of together by spackle and 3M strips.  I don't even know who survived on the Oline. I think the reason is because none of them did and Ralph Wilson had to chip in to buy a necromancer. You ask one of them to zone block and you got the response "Braiinns" No wonder they had so many false start and holding penalties.

Compared to those units the WR core was the pinnacle of health. Because normally WRs get injured when they are lit up after making a catch, and since the WRs were in the Buffalo Bill's patented "sputter-offense" it wasn't like they had any footballs to catch. So instead they danced politely and drank Chamomile tea with opposing corners. If Bills WRs did get injured it wasn't like they had any excuse!

As for this year,

I guess I'm not surprised that many of Buffalo's best and most talented players are already injured for several weeks before the season has even began. It really is the nature of the physical nature football combined with the catastrophic luck of the Bills.

On Defense especially I understand the injuries because Jauron favored speed guys. It's a stereotype to say thinner speedier guys get injured more than bigger heavier guys, but I'll go out on a limb and agree with it here. The Ravens for example are older and have likely delivered and taken some huge hits but they generally are fairly stable injury wise and hold ranks pretty well. If it turns out they got injured as much as the Bills did than maybe I'm wrong and it is more of a lack of depth thing. The sheer amount of snaps the Bills had to take when they had to stay on the field all day because of the offense, caused them to eventually collapse. That's my theory on why we saw big runs towards the end of the game and why they couldn't hold on third down and why they were injured so much. They probably weren't conditioned well enough either, or in the right scheme for such a terrible offense.

Gailey's "death camp" may be the reason that the Bills players are injured NOW as opposed to in the season. 

But regardless,  the amount of injuries to the WR position is getting absurd. Marcus Easley, Felton Huggins, James Hardy, and David Nelson are already in various stages of injury with a "wealth" of one preseason game of experience this year. How exactly is that possible? It's not like this is a deadly passing attack. The Oline is poor at pass blocking and the QBs often make bad reads (except for Fitzpatrick who make better reads but doesn't have the accuracy or talent to get the ball to the receiver!)  And at least for Nelson and Hardy it's not like we can claim they are frail specimens at way over 6 feet apiece!

Even fans of other teams are starting to pick up just on how woeful Buffalo's plight is. And this was before we lost Jackson, Lynch, and Byrd. For Buffalo the injury ward is the new locker room. 

For all the speculation I've put out as to why the Bills are getting Nix and cuts, I really don't know.  And for a solution, I really don't know anything that OBD can do that they already haven't done. They have a new strength and conditioning staff, their medical staff is top-notch (or at least was in the Everett situation) and Gailey has the entire line practicing in extra pads, which with the way things are going seems like a great idea.

Here are a few ideas I have however:

+Helmets molded out of the shell of a giant tortoise deity to prevent concussions

+ Apothecary, Plague Doctor, Knight Hospitaller, Medicine Man, Spirit Guardian and Voodoo Priestess added to Medical staff

+To teach teamwork and responsibility, each Bills player is required to raise a St. Bernard complete with medical roll around his neck

+Buffalo Jills required to take CPR courses to be administered to conscious fans upon each subsequent Bills injury

+When visiting hospitals of terminally ill patients, it should be required that the terminally ill patient be in demonstratively worse health than the visiting Bill

+Gatorade container now distributes herbal tea, mangosteed, acai berry, loganberry and pomegranate juice. 

+Spinach is now the official food of the team instead of Bison Dip and Stampede Sunday Ice Cream

+Bills Scoreboard between quarters offers well being, and healthy living tips such as taking short walks on the beach and whispering words of affirmation to your spouse.

+For every 10 first aid kits purchased, stores offer the 11th for free. Also Billy Buffalo appears on the cover of all First Aid Kits sold in W.N.Y.