NEW RULES - EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

For George Edwards:

- they have this wonderful new invention called a BLITZ. Please use

- replace Andra Davis with Kelvin Sheppard

- Neither Alex Carrington nor Spencer Johnson are linebackers - they are DEFENSIVE LINEMAN.  Use accordingly

- now that T-Mac is back, start him and McKelvin at CB, and have Florence take a seat.  Like McK previously, Flo has an annoying habit of making plays one game, and being abyssimal the next -- all the more maddening considering that he was brought back at considerable expense, and spent a good deal of camp twittering his unhappiness at the Evans trade

For Curtis Modkins:

- see that guy wearing #84?  He's a TIGHT END.  In case you haven't heard, they're eligible pass receivers - a fact that seems to have been forgetten the last three weeks

- you're starting to get as predictable as Dick Jauron:  it's getting so I can almost script the first five plays myself -

1.  spread five - pass to Stevie  2. inside handoff to Freddy  3. spread five - pass to Stevie  4. Shotgun - pass to Stevie  5.  Wildcat

a play action pass or a sweep to the outside using the FB as lead blocker would be nice once a game/season/century

For Eric Ciano and John Gamble:

You now have two weeks to get EVERYONE who's limping, Hairston included, back in action.  This has gotten beyond ridiculous, seeing somebody carted off every. Single. Week.   Having TWO S&C coordinators was supposed to decrease this.  Start getting people back in action or start typing your resumes

For Ryan Fitzpatrick:

I do not want to see that hang-dog, sourpuss look, the one that looks like someone killed your dog, that you had after throwing those two picks, on your face EVER AGAIN.  I've seen that same look on the three previous crap QB's this team has had (Loserman, Edwards, and Johnson) after they f'd up, and I'm tired of seeing it on my Bills QB's.  That look was NEVER seen on Jim Kelly; after a pick, he'd get PO'd for a second, then buckle down . . . and you never see it on Brady, either - he'll get mad, then go out and engineer another scoring drive.

One way to avoid this problem is to throw the ball in such a manner as only one of two things happens:  either your receiver gets it, or nobody gets it.  In any case, to reiterate:  if I see that look again, I'll advocate for Tyler Thigpen to start

For Chan Gailey:

After beating NE, you asked the question, "how do you handle prosperity?"  After losing to Cinn, you asked the question, "how do you handle adversity?"  I think the real question is, "how do you handle the press?"  Answer:  not good . . . seemingly, every time the Bills find themselves spotlighted in the press, they fall on their arses - so, no more GQ interviews or rap videos with Steve Johnson, no more ESPN appearances where Fitz complains about how he gets ragged on for going to Harvard.

One last thing:  Chan, if you want to stop the strange calls (like Johnson's first down conversion that wasn't and Dalton's magic first down in in Cincy, or the no-call interference on Buffalo receivers and brush against a Giants receiver and get called for DPI today), you're gonna have to to do what other coaches do:  swallow your pride and start handing over the cash-filled envelopes to the officials pregame.  That's how other teams get the favorable calls at opportune moments; you can either watch that continue, or fork over.

Let's get these done, finish the season 14-2, and be the team we're capable of being . . .