WHA T I T MEANS T O BE IN AN IRISH FAMILY

(Told to me by my Irish Friends)

 

1)  You will never play professional basketball.

 

2)  You swear very well.

 

3)  At least one of your cousins is a fireman, cop, bar owner, funeral home owner 

    or holds political office. And you have at least one aunt who is a nun or an uncle 

    who is a priest.

 

4)  You think you sing very well.

 

5)  You have no idea how to make a long story short!

 

6)  There isn't a big difference between you losing your temper and killing someone. 

 

7)  Many of your childhood meals were boiled. Instant potatoes were a mortal sin.

 

8)  You have never hit your head on a ceiling.

 

9)   You spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling in prayer.

 

10)  You're strangely poetic after a few beers.

 

11)  Some punches directed at you are from legacies of past generations.

 

12)  Many of your sisters and/or cousins are named  Mary, Catherine or Eileen...and 

      there is at least one member of your family with the full name...Mary Catherine Eileen

 

13)  Someone in your family is very generous. It is more than likely you.

 

14)  You may not know the words, but that doesn't stop you from singing.

 

15)  You can't wait for the other guy to stop talking before you start talking. 

 

16)  You're not nearly as funny as you think you  are....but, what you lack in

      talent.....you  make up for in  frequency.

 

17)  There wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last keg party. 

 

18)  You are, or know someone, named Murph.

 

19)  If you don't know Murph, then you know Mac. If you don't know Murph or Mac,

      then you must know Sully.

 

20)  You are genetically incapable of keeping a secret.

 

21)  You suffer from Irish Alzheimer's... you forget everything..... but the grudges!

 

22)  'Irish Stew' is a euphemism for 'boiled leftovers.'

 

23)  Your skin's ability to tan.... ah....not so much.

 

24)  Childhood remedies for the common cold often included some form of whiskey. 

 

25)  There is no leaving a family party without saying goodbye for at least........ 

      Forty-Five minutes. 

 

26)  At this very moment, you have at least two relatives. who are not speaking to

     each other.........Not fighting, mind you, just not speaking to each other.