Why This Season is Special For Me

by LaFemmeNiBuffalo on Sep 12, 2011 6:58 PM EDT

Every year the Bills play is special for me, of course. However, this year is a little different. To explain, I'm going to paste an article I wrote for Bleacher Report a few years back titled "My Love Grows Where the Buffalo Bills Roam". It basically explains how I became a Bills fan. Here goes:

Growing up, my dad never instilled many feminine qualities in me. That was my mom's job. Instead of bringing home pink boxes stuffed with miniature women all named "Barbie", he preferred taking me to look for fishing bait in the backyard after rain storms.

On Sundays, right after helping Mom with chores around the house, I'd slip into my over-sized Buffalo Bills sweatshirt, pull on my hat, and take a seat next to the only other die-hard Bills fan I knew: my dad.

The football relationship that my father and I have falls nothing short of special. He started liking the Bills the year I was born and I started chanting "touchdown" as soon as I learned to speak. I certainly knew more about my team and football in general than any of my peers.

Often, during commercial breaks and halftime, he would quiz me on referee signals. My favorite was always the tee-pee he would make with both hands above his head. Of course I knew it meant "safety" and would shout out the answer in giggles, knowing that I was making him proud.

If, during a game, the Bills were playing poorly, my dad and I would run up to the television and rub our hats furiously all over the screen. We would then break out into screams of "Let's go Buffalo" and slap each other a "hi-five". For some curious reason, this seemed to work most of the time.

The early 90s were some of the best times of my life. Although I was young, I knew that my Bills were the team to beat.

Every year for four years straight, my parents would throw these amazing Super Bowl parties that consisted of my dad and I arguing that this year would be different. No matter the outcomes, however, we always stuck by our team. It was something we bonded over and no one could ever break that.

Through the years, I have received autographed cards from Andre Reed and Bruce Smith. Jim Kelly even sent me a hand-written letter in the mail, thanking me for my support and stating that he would have had the whole team sign my cards if I would have given them to him.

I have gone through periods of desiring to marry Thurman Thomas and planning to move to Buffalo just so that I could see every game from the best stadium in the world. All of these emotions I owe to my dad.

In 2005, I had to work for the very first Bills game and so, living in Philadelphia and much to my chagrin, I had to miss it. Luckily, I was able to keep my phone on hand so that my dad could be my play-by-play commentator.

After every productive drive, I would run around work telling everyone what a great season the Bills were going to have. It was a bit premature, I know, but I couldn't keep my anxiousness at bay. During halftime, someone said something to me that I will always remember.

My co-worker had just got done listening to me rave about then quarterback J.P. Losman and relaying the game to him as my dad was telling me. When I finished, he looked at me and said "You know, you have a really great dad." With that, a smile came across my face and, a bit choked up, I simply replied "I know."

Just a few weeks later my dad was in a life-altering motorcycle accident. Although he survived, he was in a coma for 2 weeks and suffered the kind of brain damage that changes personalities.

Since then, he's able to walk and talk and to outsiders, seems normal enough. Nonetheless, his family knows that he is not the same person he was before this tragedy.

There are small things I notice about my dad now like how forgetful he always seems to be and the fact that he gets his words mixed up a lot. One of the biggest changes for me personally though, is the fact that he no longer enjoys football like he used to.

Games are hard for him to sit down and watch straight through and he probably couldn't name 5 players on the whole team. Something that we used to bond over so heavily was taken away in just a few seconds.

My love for the Bills grew out of the love I have for my dad. Even though a lot has changed in the past couple of years, I still can be found doing the "hat rub" during games and calling my dad when they win.

I know the days of the early 90s will never be anything more than a distant memory but I am thankful that my father turned me into a fan of the best organization out there. I am proud to call myself a Bills fan and whenever someone asks why I love them so much, I turn to them and reply "Because I have a really great dad."

My Dad actually passed away this past April unexpectedly, which is the reason I'm writing this in the first place. See, a few months ago my brother had joked that my Dad was up there trying to convince the Big Guy to finally let the Bills have a winning season. We laughed it off. Last night, however, while watching the Bills stomp the Chiefs, I heard the song "Carry on My Wayward Son" blasting from the stands. This is the very song that has always reminded me of my Dad and one that I played over and over after he died. At that moment, I knew. There was a new Bills fan above.

I wanted to share this with my fellow Rumblers because the Bills have always been special to me and I feel that all fans have this unique bond between them. While we may not have a great season, it's still special for me because I know my Dad's up there trying his best.

Just another great fan opinion shared on the pages of BuffaloRumblings.com.

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Comments

Dammit.........

I cried all last morning yesterday watching the 9/11 Memorial show.

Now:
;-(
Doing it again.
Great post and Rec’d 1,000 times.

"There is not a loser in this room." Marv Levy.

by SERGEANT MAJOR THOR on Sep 12, 2011 7:43 PM EDT reply actions

THE LIGHT OF THE HEAVENS SHINE ALWAYS ON YOU

ABAYARDE TAKES OF HIS HAT FOR YOU FROM THE MIGTHY HEAVEN HE WATCHES OVER YOU AND HE WILL SEE THAT OUR BELOVED + WHAGON BLASTERS ++++ WILL WIN ALL THE GAMES IN HIS AND YOURS NAME

by abayarde on Sep 13, 2011 5:51 PM EDT up reply actions 5 recs

:)

Thank you very much! It’s people like you who keep me smiling!

by LaFemmeNiBuffalo on Sep 13, 2011 7:25 PM EDT up reply actions

Thanks for sharing your beauitiful, sad, and hopeful story.

It's hard to pick up your teeth with broken fingers

by jj24 on Sep 12, 2011 7:58 PM EDT reply actions

Thanks guys.

I had to share. It’s something only Bills fans would understand. :)

by LaFemmeNiBuffalo on Sep 12, 2011 7:59 PM EDT reply actions

I know about traumatic, life changing events from first hand experience and the resulting intensive care. Both sides, family and care provider. I do Billeve there’s good people that love he Bills, and this post keeps proving that.

Try to be informed, not just opinionated.

by Undee on Sep 13, 2011 12:30 AM EDT up reply actions

I can understand because im a bills fan because of my dad! :)

by matt1239 on Sep 12, 2011 8:02 PM EDT reply actions

likewise

I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength of the OF THE MOUNTAIN , THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE , I will not surrender to KNOW ONE - abayarde

by NCbillsfan12 on Sep 13, 2011 6:45 PM EDT up reply actions

Same for me, too.

In the year two thousaaaaaaand.
In the year two thousAAAAAAND!

by TheAfghanTwilight on Sep 14, 2011 3:20 PM EDT up reply actions

Thank you..

Great post.. Thank you for sharing and showing everyone what it means to be a true Bills Fan that loves the team to the heart.. Sorry for your lost of a great Bills Fan.. And what seems to be a great father.. I

by RiddickBillsFan on Sep 12, 2011 8:03 PM EDT via mobile reply actions

Thank you..

by RiddickBillsFan on Sep 12, 2011 8:04 PM EDT via mobile reply actions

:)

I figured it could be a little inspirational for us fans this year. We’ve been through a lot due to our love of the Bills. lol

by LaFemmeNiBuffalo on Sep 12, 2011 8:05 PM EDT up reply actions

Thet should let the pkaters read this to see what kind of FANS they have behind them!!!

I tried not to cry because I am sittin here with my friends watching the other AFC East teams.. Would have been a little weird to start crying randomly while watching football and drinkin beer with another man in the room.. But was definitely a tear jerker, heart felt, and truely only something a Bills fan could appreciate..

by RiddickBillsFan on Sep 12, 2011 8:24 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions

Player*

The beer and touch screen phone explain the spelling errors

by RiddickBillsFan on Sep 12, 2011 8:25 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions

I don't know what to say???

but if you were near me now, this ole timer would certainly give you a big thank you hug, and share tears of understanding…. At your loss, as well as your dedication, born out of love of your father….

Thank You for sharing!!!!

Optimistic??? Of course I am!! I'm a Bills fan, and as of right now, we are undefeated on the regular season!!!
Things are truly looking up!!!

by Cinga on Sep 12, 2011 8:27 PM EDT reply actions

I didn't mean to make you guys tear up!

Sorry! Haha I just wanted to share this special things with my fellow Bills buddies and let you all know we have a great man routing for the Bills up there…soooo that’s why I think we just may, fingers crossed, have a decent season!

by LaFemmeNiBuffalo on Sep 12, 2011 8:30 PM EDT reply actions

Good post man.

My dads the one that got me into the Bills, sharing season tickets with him all these years, I know what that kind of bond can be like.

Rec’d 1000 times.

Stay Strong brother.

Fitz = M(C)²
"Lets Go Buff! a! lo!"

by bflo on Sep 12, 2011 8:52 PM EDT reply actions

LOL you mean sister?

Alas, I’m of the female variety. But thanks! And you’re very lucky having those season tickets! I live about 5 hours from Buffalo and have never been to a home game. Only 1 at Philadelphia. But I’ll get there!

by LaFemmeNiBuffalo on Sep 12, 2011 8:59 PM EDT up reply actions

Ha. Sorry. Sister!!

But yes, you need to get up there. I live about 2.5 hours away. And its always worth the drive.

Fitz = M(C)²
"Lets Go Buff! a! lo!"

by bflo on Sep 12, 2011 10:11 PM EDT up reply actions

Great story

very touching and I’m sorry for your loss. I too lost my father just 2 years ago and he is the reason why I’m a Bills fan as well. I remember when he had season tix during the 90s and I’d always get to go with him for free because he’d carry me in through the gate on his shoulders. I’m only 22 but memories like those last a lifetime. I hope to have a son someday and turn him into a die-hard Bills fan and create some memories of our own just like my dad did with me.

Rec’d just an awesome story!

"I promise you, ... When I come back, I'm going to be like a mad dog in a meat house." -Takeo Spikes

by panekattack on Sep 12, 2011 8:59 PM EDT reply actions

It's certainly something special.

I’m only 26 myself, so I know how tough it can be. But I am turning my daughter into a Bills fan (you can see that by my profile pic). I can’t wait until she really starts understanding it! The only thing I regret is not getting to a Bills game with my Dad. Funny story though…we all went to an Eagles-Browns game in Philly (before the Browns left) when I was 9 or 10. My dad was the only one wearing a Bills sweatshirt in our group. So we get in our seats and lo and behold there’s a little kid behind us in a Bills hat. My dad almost jumped out of his chair he was so excited! The kid’s parents kept giving him strange looks but that was my dad. LOL

by LaFemmeNiBuffalo on Sep 12, 2011 9:04 PM EDT up reply actions

26? Right at my middle kids age. My kids are 35, 33, 25, 23, 20 and 19. I come from a family of 12 kids, so I’m only half the man my father was.

I love that you shared a passion with your dad. While I share my Bills love only with my 23 YO son, I made it a point to teach all my children to develop a passion for something, anything they wanted, and then learned all I could about that choice so that we would always have something in common. I have unique bonds with each of them.

I occasionally babysit my 2 1/2 YO granddaughter, and she loves football. She knows the TD signal but that’s about it. After reading your FanPost I am going to teach her everything about the game, much to her mother’s chagrin.

Year two is upon us.

by Buffalo for Eternity on Sep 12, 2011 10:31 PM EDT up reply actions

I would love to have that many kids!

I’m only on my first though. That’s really awesome that you bond with each of them. Kudos to you for being such a great dad. And yes…we need to start raising our youngest troops to be Bills fans! Start em early!

by LaFemmeNiBuffalo on Sep 12, 2011 10:46 PM EDT up reply actions

Amazing story.

My Dad and Grandmother are the reason Im a Bills fan. My grandma passed about a year ago, she has the names of her 3 children and the Buffalo Bills Logo on a corner of her headstone. Im 22 years old and still go home and watch the Bills with my dad every week. Your father was a real cool dude. Great man. I know your father and my grandma were up there goin crazy this weekend. Go Bills!!

Twitter @J_Clark_1989

by NCblofan on Sep 12, 2011 9:42 PM EDT reply actions

That’s a really sweet idea for the headstone. I’m sure she loves it! So I guess it was my dad, your grandma, and Tim Russert in the middle then? :)

by LaFemmeNiBuffalo on Sep 12, 2011 10:48 PM EDT up reply actions

Nice.

It’s just a game to most… and to some it’s more than a game. It’s always been more than a game for me. Great most. The Bills can use all the help they can get:)

I want to have Buddy Nix's baby.

by taskersd on Sep 12, 2011 9:44 PM EDT reply actions

Wow that was a really touching story

I’m sorry that you lost your dad…

Geez, it’s getting misty in here…

"It’s like I’ve always said, don’t tell me about the labor pains, just show me the baby."
- Buddy Nix

"How can a guy with a name like Melo be such a pain in the ass?"
- George Lopez

by dnvrBillsfan on Sep 12, 2011 9:52 PM EDT reply actions

That was a beautiful story, well told.

Thanks for sharing.

by ChuckBuffInFlo on Sep 12, 2011 10:21 PM EDT reply actions

Thanks again!

OH, and GO BILLS!

by LaFemmeNiBuffalo on Sep 12, 2011 10:49 PM EDT reply actions

Very Touching and beautiful story

I lost my Father in May and he was also the reason i am a Bills Fan.

Rrrawrrrr, rrrawrrr like a dungeon dragon-Busta Rhymes
"Maybe i'm talking fast or your just listening slow"

by Moe_frm_B_ on Sep 12, 2011 11:03 PM EDT reply actions

Well we'll stand strong together this year. :)

by LaFemmeNiBuffalo on Sep 12, 2011 11:08 PM EDT up reply actions

Your write up was very touching and thank you for sharing it

Rrrawrrrr, rrrawrrr like a dungeon dragon-Busta Rhymes
"Maybe i'm talking fast or your just listening slow"

by Moe_frm_B_ on Sep 13, 2011 2:23 AM EDT up reply actions

mobile rec

first time a football blog has brought a tear to my eye, and I too owe my fandom to my father.
I remember our old tired tv finally giving up the ghost going into half time of one of the bills superbowls, and my dad had a new set sitting atop the old before the kick off if the second half, so we didn’t miss a snap together…"mist"
I still have my old man (god willing), though he too went through things in his life that diminished the way he loves the game, and I can’t wait to have a run to the post season to get excited and get him back on his feet about!
GO BILLS!!

Defense wins championships. 3-0 is a win, pretty or not

"WE COME TO COLECT AND IS PAY DAY IN OUR HOUSE...
I AM A JEDI LIKE THE FATHER BEFORE ME ++++ IN BATTLE WE WILL SETTLE THIS"

by Chronicbillzfan on Sep 13, 2011 12:14 AM EDT via mobile reply actions

I hope you know,

You just made a bunch of grown men cry! Such a beautiful story, and I’m very sorry for your loss. My dad got me into football, and I was a youngster during the early 90s, as well. I love being a Bills fan! XD GO BILLS!!!!!!!!!

by KPaup on Sep 13, 2011 12:55 AM EDT reply actions

Awesome

sorry for your loss, great story, Go Bills! God Bless

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it comes dressed in overalls and looks like work." Thomas Edison

by HurricaneJay on Sep 13, 2011 10:29 AM EDT reply actions

As someone who routinely cites my father’s genetics as the sole reason for my being a Bills fan, I found this rather touching. I rec’d it knowing that a rec doesn’t do it justice. Great post.

Editor-in-Chief, BUFFALO RUMBLINGS®
@BrianGalliford

by Brian Galliford on Sep 13, 2011 10:42 AM EDT reply actions

Does something like this deserve a “Classic” designation or something? Personally, I would love for this post (along with a few choice others perhaps) to be available to the posterity of Bills fandom. Just a thought.

by Munchausen on Sep 14, 2011 11:50 PM EDT up reply actions

Great story, brought the tears. I lost my father 5 years ago. I remember like it was yesterday calling him every Sunday before and after the game to discuss our Bills.

I’m glad that you too had such a great Dad. So sorry for your loss.

"Sit down and watch my Buffalo Bills destroy your Kingdome" - Abayarde

by nickdaniels on Sep 13, 2011 10:52 AM EDT reply actions

Great post.

I lost my father when I was 12, and I’ve never been able to articulate why I care about the Bills so much. Thanks for doing it for me.

@sawyervanhorn

by Sawyer in Boston on Sep 13, 2011 11:51 AM EDT reply actions

Hopefully this will be a season to make all of ours dads proud, huh guys? And if not, we’ll love them anyway. Thanks for all the recs and I’m glad I was able to inspire some of you. :)

by LaFemmeNiBuffalo on Sep 13, 2011 12:06 PM EDT reply actions

Thank you for sharing that great story

I’m very sorry for your loss.

~K
"As the governor of Louisiana once said, the only way Chris Kelsay can lose his job is if he got caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy."

by Kurupt on Sep 13, 2011 3:12 PM EDT reply actions

Great story.

Maybe I’ve been overly emotional this week due to the ten year anniversary of 9/11, the horrendous ND game, and great Bills win; this just added to my emotions. This story made me think of my own father and grandfather who both are the reason I love the Bills, and I respond the same way when asked by people ‘why I’m a Bills fan?’

Thanks for sharing your story, it was great and uplifting to read. Sorry for your loss, your father and my grandfather are probably up there watching the Bills together. Go Bills!!!!

Also, you’ve got to see a game in Buffalo, needs to happen.

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." - D.H. Lawrence

by SouthBuffaloNDgrad on Sep 13, 2011 9:45 PM EDT reply actions

I didn’t tear up for any 9/11 stuff, but man, this made me cry.

Like everyone else, the reason I love the Bills is because of my Dad. Whenever we talk on the phone, 9 times out of 10 that is what we talk about (well, that and the Sabres).

I’m sorry for your loss.

And GO BILLS!!

by maestro110584 on Sep 13, 2011 10:10 PM EDT reply actions

Thanks for sharing your story

I know for a fact I am a Bills fan because of my father and older brothers. Before I understood anything I was a Dolphins fan, maybe like 5 years old (in the late 80’s). My father and brothers literally sat me down and explained that I was not allowed to like the Dolphins because they were the enemy. They presented me with a Bills shirt and off I was as a Bills fan. Hopefully Buffalo will make the playoffs soon and have a home game at the Ralph and that will be your first game at the stadium :)

by joe r on Sep 14, 2011 7:18 AM EDT reply actions

Touching

Great story. Rec’d.

Starting the official Buffalo "Draft a Quarterback in the First Round in 2012" campaign.

by Der Jaeger on Sep 14, 2011 8:12 AM EDT reply actions

Yep

I’m really trying to get to a home game either this year or next. I was supposed to go to the Bills-Patriots last December but my daughter was born only a few days before so I was still recovering. I will get there though! I promise!

by LaFemmeNiBuffalo on Sep 14, 2011 10:14 AM EDT reply actions

Gut wrenching

Very very sad for the loss of your dad. His spirit will always be looking over you and on game days he will be close by. I truly enjoyed your article and the passion behind it…

As a father of 2 daughters I fully appreciate the way he raised you to appreciate sports and the Bills. I raised both my daughters the same way and both know the importance of being a Bills fan. When we talk the Bills are always in our conversations and we look forward to each new season.

I lost my dad last Thanksgiving to cancer but we were able to enjoy watching the Bills-Ravens game before he past.

God bless!!

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."

-- John Wooden

by Goose22 on Sep 14, 2011 12:50 PM EDT reply actions

Let's hope...

your dad keeps up the good work! Thank you for sharing. As a cool link…

Remember when Tim Russert died. The Bills started out 4-0 that year. He and his dad also prayed for the Bills in their 4th Super Bowl appearance on national t.v.

Lets hope that between good old Tim, and your dad that the Bills can make it a full season this year.

1964 and 1965 League Champions, and don't you forget it!

by Rob B on Sep 14, 2011 2:16 PM EDT reply actions

Thank you for sharing this with us here.

I, too, have my father to thank for my Bills’ fandom.

I would watch with him back when the team first wore those white helmets with the charging buffalo. I always wanted to know why the QB (Ferguson) threw it to the other team, while the other team didn’t throw it to the Bills.

In the year two thousaaaaaaand.
In the year two thousAAAAAAND!

by TheAfghanTwilight on Sep 14, 2011 3:25 PM EDT reply actions

Thanks. We needed that !

Rec’d

It was Cookie's turn to lead the "easiest exercise" during the Monday practice after a game-- he said-- "we're going to do deep breathing--everybody inhale--dehale "---As told by Jack Kemp at my high school sports banquet circa 1966.

by radan on Sep 14, 2011 7:38 PM EDT reply actions

Great Post - thanks for sharing with us

Although my father wasn’t a football fan, I am determined to be that fanatical dad with my own son. He’s now going on 14 and he’s been a Bills fan since he was born. We watch every game together and I bring him to at least two games a year. He’s a great kid because wearing Bills apparel in Montreal is a great way to get laughed at and he wears his Bills gear with pride!

It sure sounds like your dad is well connected with the great odds-maker in the sky!

Go Bills!

Rebuilding a team properly takes time and patience

by keysh67 on Sep 14, 2011 9:54 PM EDT reply actions

Great Story

I really enjoyed it, another reason for us to hope. I billieve! Rec’d

by bflobills3 on Sep 14, 2011 11:35 PM EDT reply actions

Thank you for a wonderful post!

I, too, learned to love football with my father. While he is still here with me and we get to see 6-7 games a year together at our alma mater, I have often wondered what life will be like when it’s my dad’s turn to join eternity. I don’t know how I will handle it or what things will be forever changed. I do know that every time I watch a football game without him, he will be in my heart and mind. I’m so glad you had a wonderful relationship with your father. There are so many kids in this world that never get to experience that kind of love.

I have a feeling this season will be special for you regardless of the W-L column that sits next to the Bill’s name in December (…or January???). Every game you sit and watch and think of your father will be an act of honoring his memory. I pray you are blessed with comfort for your loss this season and every other football season to come.

by APhoenixDestiny on Sep 15, 2011 11:02 AM EDT reply actions

Thanks all.

I really enjoy hearing all of your stories about your fathers too. I’m glad we could all bond over dads and football. And yes APhoenixDestiny, you are very right. This first season without my father will be special regardless. I know every time the Bills score I’ll be looking towards the sky!

by LaFemmeNiBuffalo on Sep 15, 2011 12:20 PM EDT reply actions