Monday, October 1, it could have happened at the Wilson mansion...
“Wilson residence, this is Sheila, how may I help you?”
“Hi, Sheila, this is Stephen, assistant to Mr. Goodell, is Mr. Wilson in this morning? Mr. Goodell would like to speak with him.”
“I'm sorry, Stephen, Mr. Wilson won't take any calls from Mr. Goodell. After yesterday's game with the Patriots, they've had to double his sedation and put him on oxygen again, you know how it is.”
“Oh, you mean that awful loss? I know, we're sorry that had to happen; everyone here at the league office is talking about it, well, joking about it, mainly. In fact, could you speak up, Sheila, it's a little hard to hear you over all the guffawing...but Mr. Wilson is still with the program, right? The future of the NFL is really the big-market franchises. Having a good team in Buffalo isn't in the league's best interest...”
“Stephen, Mr. Wilson did dictate a message for Mr. Goodell before his anger management therapist arrived for the regular Monday morning session. I can fax it to you if you wish.”
“No, why don't you just read it to me; our fax machine is always so far behind, lots of illegal blows to the head lately; creates a god-awful amount of paperwork here, and faxing isn't secure.”
“O.k., Stephen, are you sure we're on a secure line? Mr. Wilson says to tell Mr. Goodell that Sunday's game with the Patriots was the last time he intends to cooperate. He played ball when Mr. Goodell intervened on the Michael Vick thing (by the way, that fine for beating Vick and the Eagles was totally outrageous, as the team went “rogue,” drawing the Eagles offside), and he was a good soldier a few years before when Roger phoned during that Dallas game wanting the time-out call when the first Cowboys' field goal missed. Mr. Wilson understood that we couldn't have “America's Team” lose to the Bills on a Monday night, no matter how many interceptions Romo threw, parity be damned (not to mention the ruckus that would go on in Vegas)!
He went along with the Gailey hiring, and the payouts for those other guys to be “not interested” in coaching in Buffalo. Although taking care of Billick, who actually wanted the job, was a bit touchy, it all worked out. But Sunday's script calling for a defensive “lay-down” at home, against the Pats, after holding a lead through three quarters was the last straw. No more “head-scratching” drafts that no one can fathom. It's all going to come out. “Bounty-Gate?” No, everybody's going to be talking about “Wide-Right-Gate!” Everyone will know that the end of the "Music City Miracle" game was dubbed and tape-delayed! And once Cleveland, St. Louis, and the Saints start squealing too, it's all going to collapse like a house of cards!
Mr. Wilson says Mr. Goodell knows the price for his silence. It's reimbursement for the Mario Williams signing (that was just league office overkill; any DE would have served to keep that pass rush putrid), and a Lombardi trophy before he signs ANY L.A. deal! And Mr. Wilson says Mr. Goodell better make up his mind soon, as he hasn't been feeling tip-top lately...”
“Thanks, Sheila, I have it all, and I'll pass it on to Mr. Goodell.”
“Mr. Goodell, Stephen here. I'm sorry, but I couldn't reach Mr. Wilson for you. But I did take down a message. Mr. Wilson is making noises again, and this time I think he means it. I know everything's "in stone" for this season, but it might be time to call in the writers, legal, marketing, and accounting, and reconsider a Super Bowl win for the Bills in 2014...”