Hello fellow Rumblers. We are at draft day and there has been so much info given out. Some of it is real, some is fake. How can you tell what is real and what is not? How can you tell what is a smokescreen and what is smoke monster (I wonder where that thing from Lost went after the series ended).

I have done some research and here is what I have found and believe to be true:

I know WITHOUT ANY DOUBTS THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION:

1. The Bills will draft a MAN. Yes, you read it here first. They will draft a guy. They will not be drafting a woman or any "other". It will be a man.

2. The Bills will be drafting a HUMAN. I can go out on a limb and say, for sure, that it will be a human male. Sorry to all the Martians hoping that Zeslkskoooeuwipp%#$%#$ would be the first football player taken, well, ever, but, the bills will only be drafting humans this year.

3. The Bills are, for sure, I'd bet my joe Montana BGS 9.5 RC on it that they will be drafting a FOOTBALL player. They will not be drafting a Hockey, Basketball, or Baseball player. They were tempted by several Soccer and Tennis players, but, instead opted to go with the football player.

4. The Bills, again, I am pretty sure, and will bet my Jim Kelly BGS 9.5 USFL RC that they will NOT, in any way, draft a Kicker or Punter in the first round. I know it is likely later in the draft, as high as the second round, but, nope, no way in the first round. There will be no second coming of Ray Guy or Janikowski here. Nope, no way and I am willing to bet that card.

5. So, after all these hints, it should be pretty obvious who they will draft.

This message was brought to you by:

The Count from Sesame Street Ha ha ha 5 (lightning crashes)

The Chan-Nix brain trust of saying a lot (over 300 words) and not saying anything

And

Mars Attacks (now, we know why, their guy got snubbed). Men have gone to war for much worse reasons...