this site's greatest fan NEEDS NO INTRODUCTION. he is bold, he's big, he's awesome, and his quotes populate more signatures on this site than any other single entity in the history of the multiverse.
http://www.buffalorumblings.com/2011/9/30/2459836/buffalo-bills-boldest-fan-abayarde <- if you actually don't know who abayarde is.
ladies and gentlefans, here's a series of awesome quotes from everyone's favorite poster. i read every single one of his blog posts - couldn't get through all of his comments - so that i can bring you the best of the best, the cream of the crap, the jewels in the middle of even more jewels. i've taken them all out of context because they're even more incredibly He-Man RAWR roid-rippin super-mega-ultra-incredibadassly amazing that way. name three things better than abayarde. YOU CAN'T. ish.
3/28/12, discussing whether he wants Blackmon or Floyd:
Let me start by saying this I don't get in this. Mambo jambo bolgna guayaba stuff about who is the player for our Team.
4/26/12, discussing the draft
HE KING DOMES ARE SOUNDING THE BELLS OF THE INMORTAL WE THE SLEEPING MAGNUS OF SOUL COLLECTORS WE WILL OPEN THE DIMENSION OF THE UNDERWORLD YOU ALL ARE GOING TO SEE THE FURY OF THE POWER OF THE CALACTUS
I WILL BE DRINKING MY ==MOJITOS===
3/16/12, talking about the Super Mario signing:
LOOK NOT that u all need too know this I have never been to Buffalo and I will kick the Bejesus of some one that talks bad of our Team.
We have probe u don't need the best but guys that are given a chance to probe that they are as good as does call the best
3/15/12, more Super Mario:
WHAT IS DADDY SO EXITED FOR. MY WIFE THINKS WE WON THE LOTTERY. BUT THEN SHE realize that I did in my own galaxy
TAKE YOUR SOUL OUT OF YOUR BODY AND SEND IT IN A UNIVERSE FAR BEYOND ANY SOULS HAVE EVER GONE BEFORE
3/12/12, meacham and mario in town for FA:
I SAY THE DEFENCES OF ALL THE DEFENCES THE ROAR ANS SHOOUT THAT WE WILL SCREAM IN OUR HOUSE ON GAME TIME WILL BE HEAR ON THE 4 corners of THE UNIVERSE.
2/19/12, while discussing race in the QB position:
Whether he is BLUE,GREEN ,ORANGE OR LOOKS FROM OUTER SPACE IF HE is ready to take us to the promise land that the guy we want
see, abayarde doesn't like white QBs!
11/2/11, before the jets game:
Kan green is what the jets going to get infected when we crush your. Bones and body. All of does who disrespect us and come to our Holly ground will be knock to king dome come
9/26/11, after the greatest bills game in a decade:
ALL THE ONES SAYING IS ALL A FLUX . OR IT WAS THE BRADY BUNCH CHIPMUNK BAD GAME . WRITE ANYTHING YOU WANT BUT REMEMBER THIS THE +++++BUFFALO CRUSHERS ++++++. WHAGON BLASTERS ++++ ARE THE REAL DEAL WE ARE THE YING AND THE YANG .
9/20/11, after (what was at the time) one of the best comebacks in years:
KNEL IN FRONT OF THE WAGON BLASTER . HOLLY FROM THE GOD'S IT SELF
WE ARE ONE TOGETHER IN SUNDAY === WARRIORS AND GLADIATORS TITANS AND HEROES ALL IN ONE
9/11/11, following the chiefs win:
LET GO BUFFALO ===== I AM A JEDI LIKE THE FATHER BEFORE ME ++++ IN BATTLE WE WILL SETTLE THIS
9/8/11, prior to the chiefs game:
here is going to bee a BUNCH of BUFFALO Blasters all exited TO WRITE WHEN WE KICK THE ( BE JSUS ) OUT OF THE CHIEFY LUBE ARROW boomeran HEAD .
jkra0512 put it well, asking "Are you a professional wrestler from the 80's? That's how it reads..."
8/18/11, calling out ben reinter (i can't pick only one good line from this...):
This fool is triping with the wrong Team he is for sure THAT OUR BUFFALO BLASTERS will not win more then 5 games and that the only game will win in our DIVISION IS AT HOME AGAINST THE Dolphins WELL I CHAllenge this fool if he is so sure I WILL BET MY 7000 $ DOLLAR CYLING BIKE . YES I WILL PUT MY FAITH IN MY BILLS that they will make him eat his worlds.
eat that, ben!
COME ON BEN REINTER OR RAINDEER WHAT EVER YOU CALL YOUR SELF ABAYARDE SAYS IS ON WE WILL CRUSH YOUR HOPE TO THE NEXT GALAXY AND THEN MAKE YOU SIT AND WAIT TO DO IT AGAIN I PITY THE FOOL SOORY
8/8/11, describing his attitude for the year:
HECKO NO NO POCONO SOCONO MOROCO BONONO WE ARE GOING TO SMACK DOWN LOW DOWN AND DIRTY
THAT IS THE NEW ATTITUDE GET IT REMENBER IT , COPY IT, TEX IT, E MAIL IT, SEND POST CARDS, CALL ALL YOURE FRIENDS WE WILL STAND AND CRUSH SYAND AND SAY THIS IS MY TEAM
4/30/11, following the draft:
This guy MICHAEL Jasper aka Casper This guy make TED Whashington look like a teddy bear.
4/18/11, describing his hope for the #3 pick in the draft:
I just saw the entierview os CAM THE FLASH NEWTON This guy is a Beast not just build like , the Likes of ( VINCE THE HERECK YOUNG ) OR (JAMALL THE BLUBBER RUSSEL )
4/12/11, talking about Parcells taking Jake Long instead of Matt Ryan while channeling his inner Brazilian:
SOMETIMES U JUST HAVE TO GO WITH THAT GUTT INSTICT NOT THE TUNA SANDWICH JAJAJAJAJA
3/29/11, discussing his draft strategy:
I dont care if we get MINI ME FOR A Q.B OR THE GREEN GIANT . OR EL ZORRO BUT GET THE guy
1/28/11, discussing his interest in trading down in the draft:
THAT WHY YOU NEED TO GET THE BEST OF THE BEST AND NOT TRYING TO MAKE PINEAPPLE JUICE OUT OF LEMON
1/26/11, on need vs. best player available
SO LETS GET THE GUY WHO IS GOING TO MAKE A BLAST FOR OUR TEAM DONT CARE IF IT IS THE ----WATER BOY--- DRAFT THE GUY THAT IS GOING TO MAKE THIS TEAM A TOP NOTCH.
no idea where that last one came from.
9/26/10, discussing his feelings on coaching changes:
WE need to put a stop of all this crap every year , Of diferent coach diferent sYstem we need to come out and play the game to win, Dont know if the change of Q.B IS WHAT WE NEED . But someting better get done , I do not want to hear about the Q,B OF next year that is all ( crapola, hulla jamba, zumba stink ).
9/13/10, explaining his feelings on the field of battle:
WE WILL RISE FROM THE DEEPES HOLE , WE FELT DOWN WHILE IN THE BATTLE AND THE WAR IS JUST BEGINNING
9/12/10, before what i'm assuming was the first game of the year:
WE ARE ONE , THE FIST OF THE MIGTHY ZEUS THE SKY WILL DARKEN WHEN U ENTER OUR HOUSE .
YOU WILL NO LONGER BE A REALITY
9/10/10, discussing his predictions for the year:
I'M talking about are own fans saying that the JETZONS , the TUNA SAHAMU, THE PATSISS,
WE ARE THE SOUL TAKERS THIS IS OUR HOUSE AND YOU WILL BE CRUSH BEYOND ASHES
9/3/10, talking about the coming game.
A WEEK FROM Sunday the Whagon BLASTER IS taking of and the GODZILLA IS IN IT . EVERY BODY AND EVERYTHING IN THE WAY will be CRUSH, VANISH , NON EXISTENCE, PULLVERISE, DESINTEGRADED, The Force is stronger than EVER . THE JEDI IS READY, TO FACE the Dark side.
STAND UP AND KNEEL DOWN INFIDELS
8/29/10, talking about win now vs. rebuilding:
Every year is the same we talk about the draft I dont want to WIN IN THE YEAR 3000 I want to WIN know
from the comments of that post:
BUT down hear in MAMI I will be in the bar with my friends just telling them HOW the BILLS are going to run over the entire tuna flaper shamu mobi dick whanna be , Dolpins
8/27/10, talking about Chad Ocho-Johnson and his "what is buffalo all about" twit-ter post:
YOU CAN TELL MR, 85. WICH HIS NAME WILL BE 65, OR MAYBE 45 CAUSE LAST TIME Donte Put a HIT on Him That took about 25cents OFF HIS CHEST
TELL HIM WE GOT SOME GOOD DENTIST THAT CAN DO HIS GRILL IN SILVER , CAUSE GOLD HAS GONE DOWN . AND YES CHICKEN WINGS, BY THE LOOKS HE NEEDS SOME MEET IN THAT SKELETON . ALL GRILL TALK . AIRPLANE EARS OF HIS , SO HE CAN COME AND EAT ALL HE WANTS CAUSE WHEN WE FINISH WITH HIS 45 CENTS HE IS GOING TO NEED ALL THE PROTEIN TO CHARGE UP HIS 45 BACK TO 85 .
that post is gold. real gold, not tooth gold.
8/14/10, talking about the Dolphins:
BUFFALO NATION WILL see your BUFFALO BILLS KICK THE soul out of the TUNA FISH FLIPPER ACE VENTURA OILY FLAUNDER NO TAIL SHAMUU WHANA BE . WE FALL AND IN WAR WE RISE over and over
7/22/10, talking about who knows what:
I have to do a second part on my BUFFALO BILLS against the Miami phinis tuna whales stinky salmon fishy stonko . I just saw that MIKE COLIC aka Fat boy from south park = CARMEN = SAYS tha the JETZONS are the better team in the AFC THAT they did great IN THE Off season
7/14/09, commenting in a return-game thread (this is the first big one, folks!):
I BET YOU IF WE PUT A 12 DOZEN GLAZE DONUTS AT THE OTHER END ON KICK RETURN JAIME DUKES WILL BE OUR NUM # 1 RETURNER ON THIS LIST WILL SEE AT THE HALF OF THE SEASON HOW HE WILL BE FLIPIN HIS PICK WITH OUR GUYS NUM # 1 AND 2 . HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES DUKE APPLE PIE PUNKEN EATER DWINKE SMASHER DING DONG FLABER