clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Jauron-a-palooza!

New, comments

Jauron on the hot seat in public eye, media (buffalobills.com)

Buffalo Bills head coach Dick Jauron stood in front of the media yesterday and answered questions about his team, his job status and his apparently-just-signed contract extension. It doesn't come as a big surprise that Jauron's biggest antagonist yesterday - or, really, since he arrived here - was Jerry Sullivan of The Buffalo News; Sullivan took some heat from local talk radio programs for asking insipid, repetitive questions at yesterday's press conference. Before we get to the myriad of stories surrounding everyone's favorite topic of conversation today, here's how Jauron responded to the most interesting part of yesterday's press conference, followed by how he should have responded...

Q: What assurances have you gotten that you’ll be back next season?
DJ:
Well we haven’t really talked about it so in that regard I suppose not and there has also been no indication I won’t be.
What DJ should have said
: Well, I got a Christmas card from Ralph. Does that count?

Q: There’s a report that you have signed a contract. Have you signed a contract?
DJ:
Well you know the answer to that. We don’t talk about contracts and I certainly don’t talk about them.
What DJ should have said
: Haven't I answered this question 12 times per week since October?

Q: What’s your rationale behind not talking about it?
DJ:
I’m clearly not the one and it would be irresponsible for me to respond to that.
What DJ should have said
: Well, Jerry, one of the best parts of my job is the ability to irritate you to no end. Oh, and for the four hundredth time, IT'S AGAINST CLUB POLICY.

Q: Do you think you’ll be here in the next two weeks, a month, next season?
DJ:
I would anticipate that I would be yes.
What DJ should have said
: If I am, I'd love to see the look on your face when you hear the news. Talk about motivation...

Q: Are you saying you might have signed a contract?
DJ:
I’m not saying anything.
What DJ should have said
: Are you saying you don't believe everything ESPN reports? Blasphemer.

Q: You’re not going to address it either way?
DJ:
Right.
What DJ should have said
: Nailed it! Have a cookie.

Q: You’re not denying it?
DJ:
I’m not saying anything about it.
What DJ should have said
: Do you realize how stupid you sound? It's like you're channeling the brain waves of our backup quarterback.

Q: Do you anticipate that you will be here next season?
DJ:
I do. I do at this point.
What DJ should have said
: Deja vu! Glitch in the Matrix!

Q: Whose rule is it that you don’t talk about the contract?
DJ:
It’s from inside the organization.
What DJ should have said
: Well, I've told you it's an organizational rule for three months now... hasn't sunk in... hmmm... it comes from the CIA. No, wait. Wait, yeah, it's definitely an organizational rule.

Q: It’s an organizational rule?
DJ:
Right.
What DJ should have said
: Yes. That's o-r-g-a-n-i-z-a-t-i-o-n-a-l. Big boy word.

  And after all of that, Sullivan writes an article about how fans are mad. Got a lot of quality material for that one, Sully.

  The big news, of course, is that Jauron expects to be back next season. Don't read into this like everyone else is, folks - Jauron is basically saying that as of this moment, he has no reason or indication from Mr. Wilson to think otherwise, so he's going to continue on business as usual.

  Of course, no matter what Jauron says or believes, the popular opinion is that we're going nowhere with Jauron.

  Hey! Bob Matthews writes a sensible article here, stating that the Bills would be wise to make an official statement on Jauron's status sooner rather than later. Thanks for not just stating the obvious, Bob.

  There's a strange belief out there that Jauron's now-infamous play call from Sunday will cost him his job. Consider it the icing on the cake if you'd like, but a franchise would be crazy to fire someone because of one bad play call.

  Of course, not everyone's out to kill Jauron in the media these days. WGRZ's Ed Kilgore very intelligently points out that Jauron isn't the only problem; I prefer the term "scapegoat", but I'm not going to throw that word into Kilgore's mouth. Our very own 'J2' defended the infamous play call yesterday, and this Madden-playing non-blogger agrees.

I know it's what you want to talk about, folks. Consider this your Dick Jauron open thread for the day.