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How I helped the Buffalo Bills beat the Chicago Bears

You're welcome. Also: what did you do to help the Bills upset the Bears?

Kevin Hoffman-USA TODAY Sports

The Buffalo Bills are 1-0, and many in the media will credit the players and coaches for the win on Sunday. However, we the fans know the truth. It was the fans that won that game, and in this post and in the comments section we'll prove it. Today is the day that we finally get the credit that we deserve.

What did you do to secure that win for our football team this past Sunday?  What sacrifices did you make? Let's hear about your superstitions.

After last year, for obvious reasons, I was determined to switch up some of the things that I do on game day in order to secure the win for our team; lucky for the team, it worked. Here is what I did:


Last season, I would wake up at 6:30 a.m. and not shower until after the game. This year, I decided that the time I woke up should have more relevance, so I decided to wake up at 6:00am instead, because 12 plus 83 always equal six. I also decided to take a shower, because I'm a grown man, and it's a shame and quite frankly nasty not to take a shower. I've heard of "suck for Luck," but smelling for the Bills is just ridiculous.


Last season, I wouldn't eat anything before or during the game, because in my mind I was one of the players. Do you remember that feeling you used to have, the night before and the morning of the your big game? Nerves take over your body, and you can't stand to eat anything? That was the feeling that I used to have last season. Sunday, I decided to eat something. Of course, I couldn't eat just anything. I was able to purchase a box of Flutie Flakes from eBay, and had some Duff Wings shipped to my house. The Flutie Flakes were rather stale, but after 14 years of missing the playoffs, I was determined to do my part and take one for the team.

The outfit

This was the biggest adjustment. Usually, I'll wear a jersey and my Zubaz on game day. Sunday? I had a brand new outfit. Due to my recent experience at the Steelers game this preseason, I decided to be more professional, and wear a suit instead. Yes, I sat in my basement with a suit on for the entire game. My thinking was: hey, it's game day, it's a road trip, and we're here to take care of business. Plus, I had another reason to wear the suit...

Pregame ritual

This is where the "OCD" term might be thrown around. Usually, I'll watch the pregame show on CBS or FOX. Sunday, I decided to go to church instead. For the past five years or so, I used to pray for a victory. I didn't understand why my prayers weren't being answered. It finally dawned on me: "Maybe you need to go to church and ask, because asking at home, and laying in your own filth, isn't working." I went to church, said my prayers, and left just in time to catch the game.

The game

I'm in my basement with my daughter, who is wearing her Bills gear. The game was on channel 708 on DirecTV. This was a good sign, because the Bills were 2-1 last season when the game was on channel 708. I had to make sure the television volume was set to 23, the number of my favorite Bill, Aaron Williams. Last season, it was 31, Jairus Byrd.

I have advanced analytics that support this claim. Over the past five seasons, teams have a 67.8 percent chance of winning when the game is on channel 708. I've done a complete analysis that covers each channel and the Bills' success rate. I'm currently using these statistics to project the winners in my survivor pool.

At halftime, the Bills are up 17-7 and it appears that my superstitions are working. My daughter begins to get cranky, so I put her to sleep upstairs in her bedroom. After the third quarter it's 17-17; I'm quite upset. I'm not sure what I did wrong, but the Bills are about to blow this game; so I did the unthinkable. I went upstairs and woke my eight-month old daughter up, and brought her back downstairs to finish watching the game, because I figured she was the reason why the game is now tied. For all the parents out there, you know how big of a deal this is. A sleeping baby is the best part of the day, especially at my daughter's age. But we needed this win, and like I said earlier, I was ready and willing to do my part.

Luckily, all my new changes worked, and we won the game. The good news is that I know that I wasn't alone. We all had to do our part, and I'm curious to hear what you all did to ensure the win on Sunday.