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Buffalo Bills April Fools’ headlines that totally will never happen: 2019 Edition

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It’s back!

It’s April Fools’ Day, so we here at Buffalo Rumblings came up with a bunch of zany headlines about the Buffalo Bills. Some are wild, some are wacky but all of them have or had absolutely, one-hundred percent zero chance of happening.

  • Nathan Peterman named Bills’ starting quarterback; tenure lasts 30 minutes”
  • “Bills sign veteran CB Vontae Davis; Davis retires after playing 30 minutes”
  • “Bills sign QB A.J. McCarron to mentor as-yet undrafted rookie quarterback” and “McCarron traded for fifth-round draft pick prior to season”
  • “Bills lure QB Derek Anderson out of retirement, name him starter ten days later”
  • “Bills sign QB Matt Barkley, start him twelve days later...and win big”
  • “In-season roster cut WR Robert Foster spends month on Buffalo’s practice squad, finishes second on team in receiving yards”
  • “Bills release WR Kelvin Benjamin one year after trading a third-round pick for him to allow UDFA Robert Foster more playing time ”
  • “Bills brass drafts Josh, taking Allen over Rosen at No. 7 overall”
  • “QB Josh Allen leads Bills in rushing yards and rushing touchdowns”
  • “Poll shows no free agent wants to sign with Buffalo”
  • “Bills sign 15 free agents in March”
  • “GM Brandon Beane excited by Josh Allen’s leadership, cites ‘butt-slapping’ as part of reason”
  • “Buffalo Bills trade for Antonio Brown
  • “Buffalo Bills buck league-wide trend, roll with oldest running backs in the NFL”