Sadly, in 2020 I need to clarify something. For this article when we mean “fantasy football” we mean the traditional definition, not that the season itself might be a fantasy. With that depressing thought out of the way, let’s have some fun coming up with potential names for teams. Do you need something to strike fear in the hearts of your opponents? Something that’s witty at first, but that seems less funny each time you hear it? Whatever your naming needs are, we’ve got you covered. Maybe.
Some of the writers and editors here at Buffalo Rumblings got in on the name action—because who doesn’t love puns? Josh Rawdin had a ton of fun with this exercise, and his Buffalo Bills fandom knew no boundaries in providing such gems as Pepperidge Farm Milanos, Norman Retirement Advisors, and Kick his Ass, Tyler Bass. Sean Murphy is clearly focused on the opportunity in front of the Bills this season with Can You Diggs It? and Bye Bye Brady. Matt B (aka TheAfghanTwilight) had his tongue firmly planted in cheek when he provided us with Josh Allen’s Shorts Fund, Halftime Retirement Fund, and Schweddy Brady Balls. As your humble author I had a calling to provide such Bills-themed names as Top-40 Singletary, Candygram for Mongo, Horrible Harry and the Field Day Revenge, and Lee Press on Run Plays.
As most are based on player names, for ease of finding a favorite we’ll sort by position group. Credit is given to ideas from other Rumblings staff and contributors where necessary. Of course feel free to drop your own below!
Quarterbacks
- His Barkley is worse than his Biteley
- Jake Fromm State Farm (via Josh)
- Josh Allen’s Shorts Fund (via Matt B)
Running backs
- A rolling stone gathers no Zack Moss
- “X” DiMarco’s DiSpot
- Wade-ing pool
- Top-40 Singletary
- Moss’d (via Josh)
- Motor & Moss (via Josh)
Offensive Linemen
- Shnow Shtorm
- Candygram for Mongo
- Horrible Harry and the Field Day Revenge
- Trey Adams’s Favorite Appendage (via Josh)
- Mitch, please!
Tight Ends
- Lee Press on Run Plays
- Fort Knox (via Josh)
- Witch-Kroft
- Croom Bloset
Defensive linemen
- The Butler did it
- Hughes the Boss
- Star Power
- Lotulelei down to sleep
- Ed Oliver’s bag of chips
- Vincent’s Price
Linebackers
- Pepperidge Farm Milanos (via Josh)
- QB of the defense
- Application DeKleined
- Maine to Man Coverage
Defensive backs
- Taron it up
- Norman Baits (Interceptions)
- Levi’s 113
- PayTre
- Under-Tre-ted
- Siran Wrap
- E.J. Gaines’s Future IR Spot (via Josh)
- Hyde & Seek (via Josh)
- Norman Retirement Advisors (via Josh)
- Halftime Retirement Fund (via Matt B)
Wide receivers
- Robert Foster the People
- Where there’s Smoke there’s touchdowns
- Leave it to Beasley
- Diggs ‘Em Smacks
- Gabriel’s Horn
- Cole in your stocking
- Can You Diggs It? (via Sean)
- Bease Go to Eleven (via Josh)
Specialists
- A Shankin’ Bass Production
- Reid-ing Rainbow
- Bet the Hausch
- Kick his Ass, Tyler Bass (via Josh)
- Chewing Gum and Kicking Bass (via Josh)
- Corey vs. Kaare (via Josh)
Miscellaneous
- Magic Beanes
- Buffalo Nickel
- Versatili-D
- Whole Yacht-a Love
- Bye Bye Brady (via Sean)
- Schweddy Brady Balls (Matt B)
- Antonio Brown’s Retirement Team (Matt B)