How many Super Bowls will Josh Allen win in his lifetime?

We all love Josh Allen. Well, atleast now we do. My name isn't as fun as it was back in 2018, when half the website thought that the Josh Allen pick was the worst move in franchise history, and Sean McDermott and Brandon Beane should be taken out back and shot. But that was then. This is now. We're in a new era of football. We've been in a new era of football. We should have won the Super Bowl last season. And don't give me this "OH, but we still had two more teams to beat, we don't know if we could have actually done it, the Bengals were hot and the Rams were a mismatch". Yeah, but as a delusional Bills fan with unrelenting optimism, we were the best team, we had just seen two of the greatest offensive playoff performances in the history of the NFL, in consecutive weeks, come from the hands of Josh Allen. If we beat the Chiefs, Josh Allen doesn't throw an interception that entire playoffs, while throwing like 15+ touchdowns, and having the greatest postseason of any player ever. We weren't losing to the Bengals. We weren't losing to the Rams. We weren't losing to the '00 Ravens or the '85 Bears or the '72 Dolphins. We were winning the Super Bowl.

And obviously we're going to go 20-0 this season. So, the question at this point shouldn't be "when", but "how many". Josh Allen is already unquestionably the best player in the entire league. Not just that, but he is on his way to becoming the greatest player in the history of the sport. You look at Tom Brady, Tom is 45 years old and still playing in this league. You look at Josh Allen, he's not some San Francisco city boy like ol' Tommy was. He's a born and bred farmer from Firebaugh. And look at how he's built. He's a goddamn bull. On that alone he should be able to make it to 45. Not just that but look at how far technology has come the past several years to allow Tom Brady to even think of playing that long, let alone actually doing it. Peyton Manning and Brett Favre, who both retired within the past ten years, struggled to make it past 38. So what does this mean? At the current linear trend of continued technological advancements that allow quarterbacks to play longer, Josh Allen is, realistically, going to play until he's 55. That's like 32 or 33 total seasons in his career, roughly 28 or 29 seasons of truly elite play.

But why do I mention this? Again, the question isn't when, but how many. Tom Brady, who some say is the greatest of all time, has won 7 Super Bowls in 23 seasons. For many reasons, Josh Allen is already better than peak Tom Brady, and Josh Allen is still peaking (50 touchdowns, 0 interception season, anyone?). Let's just say that Josh Allen can do better than a 7 in 23 pace, let's say a 10 in 23 pace (pretty easy to support given that he should already have 1 in 4 seasons and he hasn't peaked yet). And then let's extrapolate that out over 33 seasons. That's 14.34 Super Bowls, obviously we round up since you can't win .34 Super Bowls. That's 15 Super Bowls. I think he can win 15 Super Bowls as a quarterback. People didn't think he'd even make it off the practice squad. You don't just learn accuracy after not being accurate your whole life! He was only drafted that high because he's big and white! Wrong. All wrong. And if you think less than 15 Super Bowls in his career, that's wrong too. Here are the statistics, 15 Super Bowls bitches.

But obviously, like John Elway, who some delusional Denver Broncos fans say is the greatest of all time, Josh Allen is going to own a part of the team and be the executive decisionmaker someday. So at age 56, he pops into the front office. In about 12 seasons as an executive John Elway won just one Super Bowl. Well John Elway is a shitty executive that relied on Peyton Manning's neck staying fused together. So let's say that Josh Allen is four times the executive that John Elway is, because due to advanced helmet technology Josh Allen will not have CTE affecting his decision-making like it does Elway. Let's say that Josh Allen does it until age 90 - if Warren Buffett can do it, why can't Josh Allen. That's 34 years. That puts him at another 11.33 Super Bowls, again we round up. That's another 12 Super Bowls as an executive.

And you know what? At age 90, the Pegula Family Trust hands ownership of the organization over to Josh Allen. That's right, Josh Allen and his financial advisor turned his hundreds of millions of QB earnings into billions, thanks to shrewd investing. Josh Allen lives until he's 120. So we've got 30 years of Josh Allen ownership. Whose another "greatest player of all time that went on to become an owner"? That's right, Mario Lemieux. He's been a full-time owner for about 16 years, and has gotten 3 Stanley Cups. It's hard to imagine an owner having THAT much of an effect on the onfield play, so let's just apply it at the same right for Josh Allen. That's 6 Super Bowls for Josh Allen. And at the age of 120, Josh Allen quietly passes away in his sleep, ending his 97 year reign over the National Football League.

So to recap, 15 Super Bowls in 33 seasons as a quarterback. Then another 12 Super Bowls in 34 years as an executive. Then another 6 Super Bowls in 30 years as an owner. 97 consecutive seasons in the NFL in some form, and a total of 33 Super Bowls. In his lifetime, I think Josh Allen will win 33 Super Bowls. However, this is not an opinion, I've provided enough evidence for it to be scientifically validated.

Thank You.

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