Buffalo Bills offer Jerry Hughes 50 million yen contract

ORCHARD PARK - In an attempt to save space against the salary cap, Buffalo Bills Senior VP of Football Administration and lead contract negotiator Jim Overdorf reportedly has offered prized free agent defensive end Jerry Hughes a five-year, 50 million yen deal.

"The idea was to make an offer that sounded good, while in actuality only being worth a fraction of his true market value," Overdorf said.

The deal, which converts to roughly $425,000 (or $85,000 per year), follows a strict free agency philosophy that Overdorf says he has always followed for the Bills.

"Our philosophy here is simple," Overdorf said. "Lowball excellence and overpay for mediocrity. We’d certainly like to keep Jerry around, but not if it costs us the ability to overpay some of our older, less important guys down the line. That’s priority No. 1."

He continued, "Sure, I could pay Jerry the $40 million he’s looking for. But then the question becomes, how do I pay Chris Williams twice what he’s worth? Where’s the money going to come from for our third kicker? You have to have answers to those questions."

According to sources, the offer did not go over well with Hughes or his agent, who upon hearing it, "both made faces like they had just smelled a fart."

"He kind of put his hand over his mouth and coughed when he said the word ‘yen,’ but we got the message," Hughes said.

One player who wished to remain anonymous added, "Yeah, among us players, we don’t call it an ‘offer.’ We call it an ‘Over,’ as in ‘Overdorf just lowballed the (expletive) out of me, and my career in Buffalo is over.’"

Despite the apparent rift between players and the organization's top bean counter, Overdorf remains confident in his approach to negotiations. "Just look at the exchange rates. We may not have struck a deal today, but in a few weeks, that deal’s going to start looking better and better. You’ll see."

Overdorf says he will continue to look into "progressive" forms of compensation, including but not limited to Bitcoins, IOUs, and "hug coupons."