15 April Fool's Buffalo Bills headlines that will totally never happen

Because it is April Fool’s Day, the editorial team here at Buffalo Rumblings had a little fun coming up with the craziest, most unrealistic Buffalo Bills headlines we could think of. Could you imagine if these really happened? That would be crazy!

• "Jon Bon Jovi, Donald Trump battling for Bills ownership"
• "Jim Schwartz carried off the field after 17-14 Bills win over Lions"
• "Kyle Orton claims fan hit him in eye with laser pointer"
• "Bills lose to Raiders one week after beating Packers"
• "Marrone punts in opposing territory, down two scores with under six minutes to play, with less than a yard to gain"
• "Doug Marrone leaves Bills, lands with Jaguars as O-Line coach"
• "Rex Ryan hired as Buffalo Bills head coach"
• "Bills sign Richie Incognito, take 'build a bully' mantra to next level"
• "Bills trade Kiko Alonso for LeSean McCoy"
• "Bills re-sign kickoff specialist to multi-year deal"
• "Lee Smith receives $9.1 million contract from Raiders"
• "Bills make Charles Clay NFL's fourth-highest paid tight end"
• "Rex Ryan's coaching staff conducts meetings in a hot tub"
• "Bills likely to lead NFL in cash spending in 2015"
• "One Direction, Rolling Stones to revive RWS concert series in 2015"

What other wacky, totally unbelievable Bills headlines can you come up with?